


Better in fiction

by silvervelour



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: F/F, a collection of drabbles that I've already posted on tumblr, mostly sweet and fluffy, this is just a place to archive them
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:47:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23647948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silvervelour/pseuds/silvervelour
Summary: “You should take my bed tonight-“. Brooke words are slower than she’s ever heard them.“-I’ll sleep on the couch”. She nods.Brooke makes no attempt to move and Vanessa chuckles, winds her body in the supple duvet that she’d helped Brooke pick out. It’s like silk against her cooling skin and Vanessa wants, needs the warmth of Brooke’s gaze to keep warming her from the inside out.“Nooo-“. Vanessa whines.
Relationships: Brooke Lynn Hytes/Vanessa Vanjie Mateo, Jan Sport/Jackie Cox
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	1. Brooke/Vanessa

Vanessa has her last box cradled in her arms.

Her last box of her things.

Things that used to be Brooke’s things, too.

There’re a stack of fashion magazines and a salt lamp that she knows Brooke never liked in the first place. She has a collection of mismatched earrings as well as a cardigan that she’s still able to picture Brooke wearing on their first date after Vanessa noticed the chills growing on her arms.

And on the day that they first moved into their apartment.

And the day that things ended.

Vanessa had seen it coming from a mile off, but it still hurts as she takes a gut wrenching glance around what used to be their living room. Where they shared secrets and hopes and kissed more time’s than Vanessa’s able to count.

Because it had felt like love.

“ _Vanessa_ ”. Brooke’s voice breaks through the silence.

It makes Vanessa jump.

The sound of her name is too familiar coming from Brooke’s lips. She hasn’t forgotten how it once made her skin bloom in adoration but now makes it crawl and doubts she ever will; she’s still unable to think about the woman who was her fiancé, was going to be her wife and the mother of her children without her heart seizing in her chest.

“What?”. Vanessa snaps.

She wants to leave, has to leave.

“That box is heavy, let me carry it to your car?”. Brooke’s voice is too soft.

It reminds Vanessa of all their whispered sweet nothings, the sunsets that turned into sunrises right in front of them. A shiver travels down her spine and she’s shaking her head, clenching her jaw.

“I didn’t ask for your opinion-”. Vanessa bites.

“-I’ll be fine, I’m not as weak as you think”. She snickers.

Brooke’s eyes are teary, and Vanessa knows that if she looks at them for a second too long then she’s going to crumble, fall to the ground. She diverts her gaze and straightens her back, sets her sights on the door that feels a million miles away.

“I’m leaving”. Vanessa confirms.

And it’s something that Brooke already knows, because Vanessa tells herself that she’s to blame. It’s easier to blame Brooke than herself and so she sticks with it, begins to believe it if she tries hard enough. Brooke is still looking at her but Vanessa can’t look back.

“This isn’t you”. Brooke cries.

Maybe it isn’t. Vanessa doesn’t know. Vanessa has a one track mind and its destination is leaving, jumping into the drivers seat of her car outside and escaping the neighbourhood that she no longer recognises. Brooke is to blame because _Brooke_ broke her heart.

“I never loved you”. Vanessa says it like it’s casual but it couldn’t be more untrue.

She has always loved Brooke.

Still does.

Yet she leaves.


	2. Brooke/Vanessa

“Nessa!-“. Brooke squeals.

“-The _fuck_ is there a cat in our living room for?”.

Vanessa’s cry of laughter is audible from the kitchen, but Brooke is in a state of shock. She stares, blatantly, at the tiniest cloud that she’s ever seen, sat purring on their couch. It’s looking at her with wide blue eyes, and lets out a _meow_ that can barely be heard over Vanessa’s giggles.

“Correction-“. Vanessa points as she enters the room.

“-Another cat in our living room”.

“Ok-“. Brooke rationalises.

“-Why is there another cat in our living room?”. She chuckles.

Vanessa looks up at her, unable to hide the joy that mixes with guilt. She pads over towards the couch, slowly, and picks up the kitten. It looks even smaller in Vanessa’s arms and Brooke has to fight the urge to reach out and pet it. Vanessa knows that she’s a cat person and is using it to her full advantage as she pouts, stroke’s the kittens head.

“His name’s Thackery“. Vanessa coo’s.

“Baby, you better not have adopted him”. Brooke warns.

Because they’ve spoken about it, sure. They’ve contemplated getting a third cat, another to keep Henry and Apollo company whilst they’re both at work for a while, but have never come to a decision. The look that Vanessa gives her tells her otherwise and Brooke can’t help but huff.

“Unbelievable”. Brooke grins.

“Brooke-“. Vanessa drawls.

“-Just look how cute he is”. She beams.

And Brooke’s unable to deny that he is.

Vanessa’s passing him over, and he’s curling up into Brooke’s arms, is licking at her wrist as if he’s instantly comfortable. Brooke lets herself enjoy the way that Vanessa looks at her with pride, and then lifts her hands, strokes at Thackery’s face absentmindedly.

“Bite me, you ‘lil bitch”. Brooke jokes.

Though she instantly regrets it.

“ _Ow_! Not literally!”.

*****

By the end of the night, Brooke doesn’t know what she had been hesitant about.

Her and Vanessa are curled up in bed with Henry and Apollo and -

\- Thackery’s nuzzled into her chest.

Vanessa’s looking at her with narrowed eyes and Brooke has to laugh.

“You’re jealous”. Brooke muses.

Vanessa scoffs, buries her head in the crook of her neck. Apollo stirs at her side but Henry remains asleep. Thackery purrs and Vanessa lifts a hand, ruffles his fur. Brooke chuckles lowly and knows that she’s partly right.

“I’m not _jealous_ -“. Vanessa whines.

“-I just can’t believe it took you all of three seconds to get him to love you and it took me all day”. She dramatises.

“Well-“. Brooke shrugs.

“-Guess it’s just my charm”.


	3. Brooke/Vanessa

Vanessa’s friend Brooke is -

\- Something.

Vanessa’s never found a word to describe her and if she did she doubt it’d be accurate enough. She’s calm yet fiery, but simultaneously cold in a way that Vanessa would find it concerning if it wasn’t for the care that Brooke puts into every action.

She volunteers at their local LGBT centre yet never cries at the movies that have Vanessa blubbering. Every week she makes sure to ask Vanessa if she needs anything during her grocery shop but Vanessa’s never seen her work up a fuss over a breakup.

Because Brooke’s not like that.

Until Kameron.

Vanessa turns up at Brooke’s apartment for their weekly takeout, armed with a bag of snacks that she’d picked up at the gas station and ready to watch whatever tv show that Brooke’s chosen to fixate on. She unlocks the door with the key Brooke had given her too long ago and steps through to the living room.

Brooke is there, as Vanessa had assumed she would be. Vanessa reminds herself that it’s Brooke’s apartment and wants to kick herself before her eyes land on Brooke’s face. It’s stoic, puffy, and if Vanessa looks close enough then she can see the tear tracks that form rivers in Brooke’s makeup.

Brooke has been crying.

“Hey-“. Vanessa greets.

She places the bag of takeout and snacks on the coffee table.

“-You good, Mami?”.

And evidently she isn’t.

Brooke shakes her head, an adamant no, and Vanessa’s pulling her into an embrace before she’s so much as kicked her shoes off. Brooke buries her head into the fabric of Vanessa’s denim jacket and Vanessa knows that it isn’t comfortable but she does it anyway. Brooke nuzzles closer and closer and closer and her mumbles are illegible.

“Slow down-“. Vanessa coaxes.

“-I don’t know what you’re saying”. She chuckles.

It’s uncertain, is used purely in an attempt to lighten Brooke’s heart. Vanessa doubts that it works but Brooke pulls away, curls in on herself. She pulls a blanket off of the back of the couch and yanks it up under her chin with sluggish movements; Vanessa doesn’t miss the trembling in her fingers and reaches out to hold them.

“Who do I gotta’ bitch slap?”. Vanessa jokes.

But it’s not the time.

“Kameron broke up with me-”. Brooke sniffs.

“-But it’s whatever, you probably don’t even care about this-“. She rambles.

Vanessa hushes her with a squeeze to her hand and Brooke’s tears continue to fall.

“Of course I care”. Vanessa reassures.

She cares about Brooke more than she cares about most things. Brooke is her friend, one of her closest friends and one of her longest friends. Vanessa’s able to lean on Brooke more than any girlfriend that she’s ever had and it’s why seeing Brooke in a state that she’s never seen her before is startling.

“Just hurts”. Brooke’s voice is timid.

Vanessa understands.

“Hmm-“. She smirks.

“-So you _do_ have feelings”.

And maybe it’s rude, or blunt, but Brooke gets it, Vanessa thinks. She laughs along with Vanessa, and her tears dry one giggle at a time. She reclines against the back of the couch, turns to Vanessa with a shy smile.

“So you got Chinese food?”.


	4. Brooke/Vanessa

Vanessa doesn’t expect to find herself half asleep on Brooke’s bed, but she does.

It’s a Thursday night and they shouldn’t be drinking, but Brooke had two unopened bottles of wine and who were they kidding. Vanessa feels like she’s floating on a cloud but Brooke is still there, looking at her with bleary eyes and a lopsided smirk.

Vanessa blames the wine for the way her mouth runs dry.

“You should take my bed tonight-“. Brooke words are slower than she’s ever heard them.

“-I’ll sleep on the couch”. She nods.

Brooke makes no attempt to move and Vanessa chuckles, winds her body in the supple duvet that she’d helped Brooke pick out. It’s like silk against her cooling skin and Vanessa wants, needs the warmth of Brooke’s gaze to keep warming her from the inside out.

“Nooo-“. Vanessa whines.

She’s not going to allow it. Vanessa is more effected be the alcohol than she cares to admit and there’s not a shred of her subconscious that tells her this is a bad idea. The fabric of Brooke’s sweater looks even more inviting than the bed that she’s laying on and she reaches out, brushes her fingers against it feebly.

“-It’s freezing! Come here!”. Vanessa demands.

She only catches Brooke rolling her eyes teasingly before she’s letting her eyelids slip closed. There’s shuffling and stifled movements but Brooke doesn’t get closer. She makes no attempt at leaving, either, and Vanessa cracks one eye back open to witness Brooke grinning; Vanessa knows that there’s a joke coming but doesn’t have the heart to stop her.

“You may be attractive, but I’m not sleeping with you”. Brooke drawls.

Vanessa simply shrugs.

Her hand meets Brooke’s, yanks once.

Vanessa knows that Brooke doesn’t have the energy left within to hold herself up and takes full advantage of it. Brooke lands next to her with a huff and they’re both laughing, Vanessa’s chest swelling with pride. Brooke grunts, but Vanessa already has a leg slung over her waist.

A hand comes to rest on Vanessa’s knee, squeezes.

The action is sluggish but Vanessa’s never felt more adored.

“Unfair-“. Brooke pouts.

“-I wanted the first time we slept together to be hotter than this”. She giggles.

But Vanessa doesn’t hear her.

Sleep is already dragging her under, and Brooke is warm and calming against her side. She sighs, content, and places a sloppy kiss to Brooke’s shoulder. Brooke curls an arm around her and nothing else matters, then.

“Mhm, sure, whatever-“. Vanessa mumbles.

“-Remind me in the morning”. 


	5. Jan/Jackie

When Jan is the first person to be selected for a partnered project in her introductory theatre class, she feels a blush rise to her cheeks.

She’s called out by name, a soft _Jan_ that leaves her weak at the knees. She crosses the room, stands next to the taller brunette that’s beaming down at her with a grin. Jan smiles back widely and doesn’t miss a beat when the girl is telling her that it’s nice to meet her, is complimenting her hair as the class becomes background noise.

“Your hairs gorgeous, that’s not fair-“. The girl laughs.

Jan doesn’t miss the glare that their professor throws at them.

“-I’m Jackie”. She purses her lips.

_Jackie_.

*****

Jackie is good, it turns out.

Jan has to fight to hide the shock that appears behind her eyes when Jackie has her lines down within the session, is working on blocking before Jan’s so much as thoroughly analysed her character.

She watches from the sidelines, remains quiet until their allotted two hours have come to an end. Jackie makes herself comfortable in the directors style chair next to Jan and huffs out an exhausted breath.

The lights are dim in the room surrounding them and the stage remains vacant.

“How’re you doing?”. Jackie simpers.

And Jan’s never been good at lying, despite being an actress.

“Uh-“. She stutters.

“-Feel a little out of my depth, if I’m honest”.

The softness that Jackie looks at her with is worth it.

“Do you know why I chose you?”. Jackie mumbles.

“No-“. Jan shakes her head.

Because she doesn’t, not really. Jan knows that she’s good, too, if she really thinks about it. She knows that she has both the grades and the resumé and her professors aren’t kept in the dark about it; a part of her knows that Jackie isn’t either and it’s reassuring.

If only a little.

“-Why _did_ you choose me?”. She asks.

“I know your roommate, Nicky?”. Jackie smirks.

Of _course_.

“Mhm”. Jan arches an eyebrow.

Jackie leans further into her space. Jan’s able to smell her perfume as well as the detergent on her sweater. It’s sweet and floral and drowns out the smell of the wooden floors of the old theatre. It’s nice, welcoming.

As comforting as Jackie’s smile.

“She knows you’re really good, and so does everybody else around here, for the record. I saw you in the first showcase and, _yeah_ , I chose you”. Jackie confirms.

It’s the first time all day that Jan’s seen her look the slightest bit shy.

“Plus-“.

Jackie’s eyes are hopeful as she starts. She places a hand atop of Jan’s that’s resting on her knee, gives it a tentative squeeze. Jan encourages her with a hum because she doesn’t know what’s happening but _god_ does she want to and -

\- Jackie winks.

“-You’re really fucking cute”. 


	6. Jan/Jackie

Jackie’s used to waking up in the middle of the night. 

Her body’s grown used to sleeping in increments thanks to her hectic work schedule, and she never complains about the opportunity to fetch herself a glass of water and a snack at three in the morning, or four. She coaxes herself back to sleep with ease and does so without disturbing her girlfriend; she jokes that Jan could sleep through an earthquake and still wake up rested. 

What Jackie isn’t used to, is Jan being the reason she wakes up.

She’s laid on her side, her face nuzzled into Jackie’s shoulder. Her breaths coming in laboured pants and Jackie can feel it, warm against her skin. Jan’s legs are thrashing beneath the blankets in an attempt to escape something, anything, and Jackie’s heart breaks for her. 

Jackie curls a hand around Jan’s waist, listens to the grumbled, incoherent words that she’s mumbling. There’s something about _no_ and _please_ and Jackie _has_ to wake her up. She shakes Jan gently, at first, only to receive no response. She tries harder, then, whispers Jan’s name softly into the darkness of the room. 

“Jan, baby”. Jackie strokes at her hair. 

“Jan”. She repeats. 

It’s then that Jan jostles.

Her mumbles come to an abrupt stop but her body is rigid, tense against Jackie’s. Her legs are no longer kicking but her heart is pounding in her chest to the rhythm of the rain on the windows. The silence turns to sobs in a matter of seconds and Jackie’s heart is still breaking. 

“Jack-“. Jan heaves.

She cuts herself off with a choked out cry. Her hands cling to any part of Jackie that she’s able to reach. One fists in the fabric of her shirt and the other is like a vice on her arm. Jackie pulls her closer still and places kiss after kiss to the top of her head. 

“Shh, come here, it’s just a nightmare”. Jackie reassures. 

She uses a voice that she knows Jan finds calming, and hushes her with sweet nothings. She tells her that it’s ok, that she’s safe, and knows that Jan believes her when her breathing begins to even out. Her tears still fall but Jackie’s quick to dry them; she swipes her thumb tenderly beneath Jan’s eyes and places her lips to her forehead. 

“Scary”. Jan mumbles. 

“I know-“. Jackie soothes, keeps her close. 

“-Stupid dreams, huh?”. She jokes. 

And Jan cracks a smile. 

“Stupid dreams”. Jan echoes. 

**Author's Note:**

> im also on Tumblr @ janhytes!


End file.
